well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I've blown a few things in my day
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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