Is it normal to miss your booty call?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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