READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
