First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
