he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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