thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
