So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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