Buhtt sex?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
ttyl tear gas
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
