Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
