I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
