i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
