This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
