Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
