this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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