Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
