are you still at the devil's house?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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