you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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