words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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