Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
