i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
