I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
