that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
