Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
