is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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