I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
i think my cat just said my name.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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