There is no way he is gay with that hair.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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