walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize