just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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