I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
They have beer where we have blood.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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