That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
People in love make me want to vomit
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
