Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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