from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
