All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize