So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
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