Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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