we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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