Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
And then my night got REAL pukey
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
