You're my little dorito
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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