I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just had sex on a roof
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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