It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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