Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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