New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i now understand why vodka
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize