I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
are you so shy because you have an std?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
