I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
