So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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