I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
