my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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