I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
