you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
