never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
