Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
