I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
