I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
