i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
