playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
