you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
