i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
