weddingsv make me drug and hornr
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
