is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
