you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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