Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
