thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
