yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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