Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
