Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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